A wonderful, young girl that I used to work with, hung up the phone and walked over to me with a big smile. I asked her, " So what's up."
She replied, "I am an Aunt!" I congratulated her and went back to working chuckling over what had just happened.
It occurred to me that one minute she wasn't an Aunt and the next minute, she was. So I drew a picture of an "ant" (the 6 legged kind) holding a phone, with the caption of "POOF" and gave it to her. She had not prepared to be an Aunt, made and specific plans for being an Aunt or even gave much thought to it before it was imminent, but here she was.......an aunt. (Sometime, somethings are just funny to me.)
It seems to me this is a lot like being a Single Parent. You don't really plan for it, or prepare for it, but for many of us, one day it just happens. I am not saying that you don't know it is coming, because you certainly do and probably if you are like most, have "debated" the pros and cons with your soon to be ex-spouse. While in the process, a lot of emotions are so tied up in being a "non-married" person, leaving the "parenting alone" part, as an unpleasant after effect. Talk to anyone going through the process and much of the conversation will be about the soon-to-be-ex, not how am I going to manage the kids alone.
I know this is just the way it is, but far after the fact, you begin to see that the only lasting impact is really on your kids. You will start again, just like you have many times before, and you have some perspective with all the other things in your life, but for the kids the whole world has changed.
Maybe this is where the expression "you can never go home again, comes from. Sometimes things that change, change forever, especially for kids.
